Since my original, little piece on, quite a few people have written about opting out. You may send $20 and the form below to:

Opt Out List
4358 243rd Ave SE, Suite 500
Issaquah, WA 98029

For each member of your household, please include the following information:

Full name


Telephone number




Date of birth, place of birth

Mother’s maiden name

Email address

Social security number

Optional: (for demographic use)

Marital status

Sexual proclivity1

Religious preference2

Previous military experience

Highest level of education attained

Annual gross income 3


Preferred Occupation4


Number of pets and/or children5


Favorite food

Least favorite food

Eye color

Hair color

Interesting tattoos or piercings? 6

Favorite color

How many teeth do you have?

Shoe size

Belly button type7

Square root of two

(1) We are open-minded.
(2) Whether or not you actually attend
(3) Not the amount you actually report to the IRS
(4) If income wasn’t a factor. Be creative.
(5) Type? Breed? Age?
(6) Please be very specific.
(7) Innie or outie

(This is obviously intended as a work of fiction.)

5 thoughts on “ Redux”

  1. Looks like the “Do Not Call” list is on hold for now… the Direct Marketing Association and several telemarketing concerns (U.S. Security, Chartered Benefit Services Inc., Global Contact Services Inc and InfoCision Management Corp.) successfully challenged the FTC’s enforcement.

    Ironically, it’s not a huge loss, because the system was pretty rife with loopholes:

    Polticial campaigns
    Telephone surveys — a loophole the size of (ahem) a cruise ship with vinyl siding.
    “Pre-existing business relationships” — A train full of credit card offers. (NB: I noticed I was receiving an awful lot of calls from Charles Schwab in the last three weeks.)

    I hope that the 50 million people who signed up for the list will generate some backlash.

  2. Yesterday, Judge West ruled against the DNC list on the grounds that the FTC needed a legislative mandate. Then the House and Senate gave the FTC that mandate today, only to have Judge Nottingham issue an opinion that the donotcall program discriminates against certain types of speech.

    And so it goes…

  3. >Why don’t YOU send ME $20 to fill out the form?

    We have highly-trained, invasive marketing professionals attend to this information, and are unable to outsource at this time.

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