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Spam burritos seem so … wrong.
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Does not! You people with your Spam prejudices. I don’t go around mocking that stuff you eat that looks like forrest fodder, now do I? Well, actually, I do, but still. I’d sure rather have a spam burrito than a granola one.
Okay, I know this is difficult to soak in, but SPAM is okay. Weirdly, working at a culinary school for five years opened up my eyes to the SemiProcessedAnimalMatter, and I’m a convert.
Don’t get me wrong: you should NOT eat it. SPAM has close to 30 grams of fat per 2 oz. serving. To put that into perspective, that means one can of the stuff has, like, 150 grams of fat in it. And the surface jelly? Don’t get me started. . .
It’s just that if someone else cooks it and scrapes off the goo, its salty goodness becomes irresistable.
I was in Hawaii recently during SpamFest, which was mostly a few-blocks-long series of portable food joints that sold all kindsa eats, where each foodstuff had a Spam option: Spam tacos, Spam nachos, Spam hotdogs (which Scout, my wife, gladly ate), etc. It was nasty. Enough of this Iraq crap; we should invade Hawaii!
Incidently, one of the salespeople in a store nearby told me she’d never eaten Spam, but that after work she was heading over to try some. I was blown away. I thought Spam was a kind of universal food, that everyone has tried it – like it was the human equivalent of Alpo. (In more ways than one.)
Funnily, I tried to ease her mind by explaining what it was. Everything I said made her face screw up a little more. I’d wager money she skipped the Spamzagna and just went home to vomit without it.
J.
SPAM is spiced pork and no one can tell me otherwise [lalala…I can’t hear you!]
For the record, the state of Hawaii is the largest per capita SPAM consumer in the U.S. And trust me, there’s nothing nastier than SPAM and poi and white rice for lunch!
I don’t entirely get why pretty much two whole generations of “young people” are disgusted by SPAM. I’m part of one of those generations, and I fight email SPAM for a living, so maybe it’s not odd that I’m fascinated by the foodstuff.
I recently made a recipe of Atomic Spam Kebabs for a BBQ and the reactions were entirely polarized between “WOW you did what??” and “OMG no you didn’t!”
They were awesome.