Mountain Populaire – DNF

The route description for Sunday’s populaire posed a simple question, written by a master of understatement: Really, how bad can a ride of 110 km with just 7 little hills really be? In fact, the climbs make up only about 8 miles/13 km of this 110 km ride – the rest is flat or gently

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Status reports

I had a weird dream last night. In the dream, I made a gazillion dollars because I wrote a program that automatically generated wholly truthful and accurate status reports. (This is especially funny if you ponder the irony of designing software pointing out software ironies.) It was based on MadLibs, rendered in a template like

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Chicken and Dumplings

Chicken and dumplings is a basic comfort food, good for a cold day. The original recipe, from a duct-tape bound cookbook that I have since lost, used only the egg yolks in the dumplings. I haven’t found much difference in the texture or taste, and thus use the whole egg. Plain yogurt can be substituted

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Rodeo Clown/Product Bullfighter

Whomever writes the Sunday’s Seattle Times/Post-Intelligencer careers section has a sense of humor, taking advantage of the slow Labor Day weekend. The “What This Job Pays” column for the week of September 5, 2004 featured the job of … a Rodeo Clown. Qualifications: Called the unsung heroes of the rodeo, clowns

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My Sunday Paper

My Sunday paper will arrive in five hours. Using my psychic powers, I will predict its contents. The Sunday paper will contain 60% advertisements, 10% comics, 3% “Parade” and local weekly magazine, 5% TV section, and 22% news content. The ads Aaron Brothers is having a 1-cent frame sale. For unexplained reasons, I will receive

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Liquid bandages

This may seem far-fetched, but I got a paper cut from picking up a cardboard box. The box slipped, and when I grabbed it, my finger brushed against the edge, leaving a large gash in my finger. Okay, maybe not “large,” but it hurt a lot and the cut was big enough that it needed

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