Ads that would benefit from more stock photography

I’m not sure why I ended up browsing Google Offers’ deals in the Seattle area, but as I staring at the URL, wondering if I mistyped the name as ĠõøǤĿë, I was left with the impression that this is a not-dead-yet project done to as a checkbox for someone in upper management who thought they must jump on the local deals bandwagon, but only part-way.  These are ads that would benefit from more stock photography, proofreading, and anything to actually help the businesses in question.

On page two of the Seattle Deals section I saw a trilogy of people in suits making handshakes.   Suits and pristine, callous-free hands are not something one associates with well-skilled people in remodeling, sewing, or furnace repair.

Hello, Stock Person In A Suit!

But at least they’re different suits, right?  Let’s move one page forward, where we see a dire situation for Offers restaurants: a single stock personal pepperoni pizza shot that’s kinda unappetizing.  I know Romio’s fantastic G.A.S.P. (garlic, artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes, and pesto) is more photogenic.

If Henry Ford went into the stock pizza photo business…

The stock might be forgivable if there was an attempt to offer customization, like a logo emblazoned on front.  Or if the people in suits were were shaking a pizza, because that would be funny.  Business hand, meet cheese pie.  Pie, serious but callous-free hand.

This ad gave me a chuckle at the prospect of printing a stack of Benjamins so I could buy a case of Altoids mints with my next G.A.S.P.

Using our proprietary 3-D technology, we are also the only printer in town that can run orders of coins.  Please, no dimes or nickels.

Getting a top coat on my money might make it sturdy enough that the stupid !#$!$ vending machine accepts it as legal tender.  Until then, I will continue to hoard dollar coins from the local car wash.

Please, no dimes or nickels.

In the example below, I understand that the photo is a technician removing the back window of a minivan, but the caption offering me “$100 off shower job of $650 or more” sounds like a disturbing euphemism.

Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Or else?

One more page, and we’ve run out of local businesses.  This example is for a online stock-trading course whose business is extremely SEO savvy.  Identical coupons have appeared on the other coupon sites.

As Bill contemplates the future of stock pizza photography, he realizes there just may be an untapped opportunity in the non-pepperoni market.

Last, is a section of non-offer offers.  This vendor doesn’t bother with art, but its use of the spammy “HGH” and offering a gift to attend their “weekly meeting” is…

This is not not at all a multi-level marketing pills scheme.