 |
| Ryobi Trimmer |
I am finally rid of my Ryobi 720R trimmer. For nine years I’ve owned this pathetic excuse of a lawn maintenance tool. I didn’t think asking for occasional lawn edging and trimming was too much to expect, but it was always hard to get started. When it finally did acquiesce, it’s 2-cycle engine spewed oily, grimy residue everywhere. It was also very loud. I wore ear protection, but I’m sure it bothered the neighbors.
I chose this model for the optional accessories. They didn’t work well. The string trimmer wouldn’t feed. The edger gunked itself up after 5 minutes of use or the driveshaft never reached full speed. I never bothered buying the
hedge trimmer, leaf blower, or flamethrower options, but I assume those don’t work, either.
I put up with its mechanical insolence until a few weeks ago. The yard was loooking pretty ratty around the edges. I needed to do some edging and trimming.
I followed the starting instructions to the letter:
- Ignition switch on.
- Push the primer builb 5-7 times
- Full choke
- Pull starter rope briskly.
- If the engine doesn’t pretend to start, repeat
- Repeat again.
- Scowl.
- Repeat again.
- !#@$%*(!)$ repeat several more times – for another 10 minutes.
Finally, the engine taunts me with a little kick.
- Put it on partial-choke and pull the starter
- It starts
At this point the instructions say to let it warm up 5-10 seconds, then move it to “Run” position. They neglect to address thepossibilitylikelihood that the engine conks out. I spent another five minutes trying to restart it, but was finally put over the edge. In an act of highly-focused rage, I took out all of my frustrations on the trimmer:
- Wham!
- (F-bomb) trimmer won’t start.
- Swing bam!
- (F-bomb) trash cans at Deception Pass State Park not emptied during July 4th weekend, the busiest time of the year.
- Crash!
- (F-bomb) infrastructure migration projects not on a fitness function
- Pow!Budget cuts mean stinky bathrooms without toilet paper, too
- Zoing!
- Blue Screen of Death from the Netgear driver
- Kazow!Carpenter ants
- Bing!
- Chirpy T-Mobile recruiting site.
[… and so on …]
This didn’t help my elbow, but years of pent-up frustration with an awful, time-wasting device were being released into the atmosphere. Except for breaking the spark plug, I did surprisingly little physical damage to the trimmer. After draining the gas, I joyfully disposed of the thing.
I wasn’t totally off the hook — the yard continued to grow. I picked up an electric trimmer this weekend. It weighs less than half as much as the Ryobi, doesn’t spew oil, and actually works.